Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jog?

I am back in the U.S.
I am back at Trinity
So much is familiar
So much is different

FUN
I got off the plane and saw all my friends and all my family. They brought me Doritos and Dr. Pepper per my request. We held hands and prayed thanking the Lord for...everything. Then we went to the Plush Horse to eat ice cream. I am still lactose intolerant. I still don't care. I said goodbye to Katie and Eleanor and kind of Mackenzy and Tyler and Brittany at the airport but Kirk came home with me so I could drop him off at O'Hare early Saturday morning. That was so helpful. Just having a little bit of what I've known in my home for a few hours. And plus Kirk is the nicest young man. It was unreal to see my family again. I longed for their embraces for so long and now it's here. Completely accessible. Food is in abundance and in variety. I see my dog. I have caught a cold. I am the minority again.

FUN OVER.

FLIGHT AND FIGHT
Back at Trinity. Too much. Too many people to see. Too many people to avoid. Too many people who don't get it and don't care to try. Who do they think I am? Why would you ask me that vague and open ended question? Overwhelmed. Tired. Overwhelmed and tired. I sleep all day and it's not because of jet lag. I am not hungry for supper at 5pm and it's not because my body clock is off. I'll just stay in my room and pick petty fights with my roommates.

FLEEING COMPLETE. FIGHTING ONGOING.

FIT
I still have responsibilities as a member of this community. I marched in the Opus parade for the fourth and final time. I performed with Flipse and Brandon in the flOPUS mock talent show. I shared an original oratory piece for Opus! I am still here. Still someone. Still heard. But not fully present. Not the same person. Not saying the same things. I will go to bible study to support the efforts of my RA. I will go to Nonna's at 3am. Life has still been happening here.

FITTING...COMPLETE?

FRUIT
I have new gifts to offer. New insights. New values. Social Work Etiquette Dinner: Scoop the soup away from me and keep my napkin in a triangle on my lap? What is a napkin. Thank God for four course and sparkling white grape juice. Welch's. I refuse to be hungry. I refuse to complain. I refuse to lie to you. Kenya was challenging. Worth it. God is real and we must speak about him with words from our mouths. I am not starving. It's okay. There is grace. No problem. I am going to shake all of your hands to acknowledge your presence and worth. We are not alone here. God cares for them, too. Man I was far away. Yes I will return. I must. Home again. Home again?

Jiggity Jog.