Home Again, Home Again Jiggity Jog?

I am back in the U.S.
I am back at Trinity
So much is familiar
So much is different

FUN
I got off the plane and saw all my friends and all my family. They brought me Doritos and Dr. Pepper per my request. We held hands and prayed thanking the Lord for...everything. Then we went to the Plush Horse to eat ice cream. I am still lactose intolerant. I still don't care. I said goodbye to Katie and Eleanor and kind of Mackenzy and Tyler and Brittany at the airport but Kirk came home with me so I could drop him off at O'Hare early Saturday morning. That was so helpful. Just having a little bit of what I've known in my home for a few hours. And plus Kirk is the nicest young man. It was unreal to see my family again. I longed for their embraces for so long and now it's here. Completely accessible. Food is in abundance and in variety. I see my dog. I have caught a cold. I am the minority again.

FUN OVER.

FLIGHT AND FIGHT
Back at Trinity. Too much. Too many people to see. Too many people to avoid. Too many people who don't get it and don't care to try. Who do they think I am? Why would you ask me that vague and open ended question? Overwhelmed. Tired. Overwhelmed and tired. I sleep all day and it's not because of jet lag. I am not hungry for supper at 5pm and it's not because my body clock is off. I'll just stay in my room and pick petty fights with my roommates.

FLEEING COMPLETE. FIGHTING ONGOING.

FIT
I still have responsibilities as a member of this community. I marched in the Opus parade for the fourth and final time. I performed with Flipse and Brandon in the flOPUS mock talent show. I shared an original oratory piece for Opus! I am still here. Still someone. Still heard. But not fully present. Not the same person. Not saying the same things. I will go to bible study to support the efforts of my RA. I will go to Nonna's at 3am. Life has still been happening here.

FITTING...COMPLETE?

FRUIT
I have new gifts to offer. New insights. New values. Social Work Etiquette Dinner: Scoop the soup away from me and keep my napkin in a triangle on my lap? What is a napkin. Thank God for four course and sparkling white grape juice. Welch's. I refuse to be hungry. I refuse to complain. I refuse to lie to you. Kenya was challenging. Worth it. God is real and we must speak about him with words from our mouths. I am not starving. It's okay. There is grace. No problem. I am going to shake all of your hands to acknowledge your presence and worth. We are not alone here. God cares for them, too. Man I was far away. Yes I will return. I must. Home again. Home again?

Jiggity Jog.

Homework TIme

From the time after supper until 9pm I help the kids at First Love complete their 10 subjects of homework. These hardworking students wake up at 4:30am to complete any assignment that was left undone from the previous night and then are in class from 6am-4pm, arriving back home around 5. They have really long days. And I’m not so sure the education system is top notch. I’m actually quite positive the education system is not top notch. But we work with what we and change what we can.  

That top picture is a lesson about the street children in Kenya who beg for change. Please note how it reads “Most of them are dirty and a big problem to other people. They also sniff glue which makes them drowsy and droopy all the time”. Are you kidding me? Who published this? I don’t want my kids thinking of poor people as a problem or that ALL of them sniff glue and are droopy ALL the time. The word “all” is an absolute that leaves no room for exceptions….and there are exceptions. Some street kids don’t sniff glue and the ones that do still have moments, whole days or weeks even when they are neither drowsy nor droopy. We must leave room for grace and teach that street children are not our problems, but rather our brothers and sisters.

The middle picture is a lesson that truly confuses me. Although most of the African students are still developing their english speaking skills, their curriculum is urging them to learn how to write in broken english in order to send telegrams. What? Why. I don’t even know what a telegram is. Do they still use those in Kenya? Doubful.

The third picture is a book on Harriet Tubman that you can see by the bottom, left-hand corner is

endorsed by Chik-Fil-A. Talk about a winning novel :)

1 out of 3. Much room for improvement, but not a total bust. 

Holiday

The kids are home from school and they are crazy.
They finished their exams last week and so now they have a few weeks of break. Because Kenya school systems run year round this is a typical, every four month situation. Whereas before the orphanage was void of children for the majority of each day besides Sunday, now the grounds are overflowing with life from sunrise to 9pm. They wake up very early as if they are going to school but instead they play ball or run around the hall. I hear them at 5:30am but I can easily fall back asleep until 8am. I'm not too sure about Anna though...she's kind of a light sleeper.
Once awake I have to swerve around little people to get to the Baraka Women's Centre where Ginger has most likely been shooing children out for half an hour. They are bored and looking for ANYTHING to do. Wanting to solve this dilemma of theirs I invited them into my room.
Yikes.
It was too much. Six pairs of little hands touching everything, putting everything into their mouths, climbing on things, finding things, taking things. I don't know what my thought process was but it was wrong. I had to tell them all "enda!" which means "go!" after five minutes.
And the kids eat garbage. And leaves. It is highly concerning. Thankfully all the staff is aware of this dangerous habit of the younger youths and so everyone is on high alert. Anna and I have taken to throwing out our garbage only at night after all the kids have gone to bed. By morning the maintenance staff would have taken our waste to the burn pile preventing all risk of ingestion. This holiday break has brought out a new side of the youths.
They are causing trouble, and picking fights. There is no school to satisfy their curiosity. These days I have felt less like a social worker and more like an instructive big sister. Get out of my room. Get that out of your mouth. Go to the hall. I'll take it.

Research

I love research.
I took that class with Mackenzie and each day she would make us speak the words "I am starting to love research". At that time it was all a farce. I didn't love research. I didn't know anything about research except that it was the hardest class in the social work program. However after a semester of excruciating group work and mountains of article reading I can truly say that I do indeed love research. Mackenzie led us to examples of research in the Word and profits of research for the greater Kingdom. And now I think it's great. It's in my top 4 favorite classes taken at Trinity. Securely resting in spot four.
This week consisted of my last day at Karen C Primary. I went to say goodbye to some of the classes I taught and Head Teacher Warui had some work for me to do in preparation for the future of the graduating 8th graders. Getting into highschool in Kenya is a big deal. There are good high schools and no so good high schools and where a child ends up depends on their test scores. The work that Warui had for me consisted of me and another intern entering data onto a chart of the students names and the seven digit code representing their top three high school options. This was tedious, hand-written work for me and the other intern. We had a pen and white out which we thankfully used only sparingly. I really loved it. Data entry I'm sure can get really, really boring on large scale projects. But for this one day at Karen C, I felt like a real live researcher with real business to take care of.

The End is Nearer

I posted some time ago about preparing for the end and needing to prepare the kids for my departure. Well that has begun to happen. I am approaching the kids and straight up telling them "I leave on next Sunday". I think they need to hear it directly like that. And responses have been encouraging. Many of the kids are already aware and all are visibly strained by the news. I had a conversation about the last group of servants and how sad everyone was when they left. This particular child said something to the tune of "It was hard saying bye to Ashley and the others and now we have to do it again".
How awful.
It stinks to have to be another goodbye that these kids have to suffer through. It almost makes me feel like there should be a commitment of say 3 years or something to be able to come and serve at First Love. But then again, the heartbreak after 3 years may be worse. Is there a way to avoid this pain? Should we be seeking ways to avoid this pain? Maybe it's a necessary part of the helping process? I don't know. Not all social work positions can be so professional. I can't have the same boundaries here as I could as a private practitioner. And that's okay I think. But what to do with these goodbyes. Is this healthy for anyone?
I must return. I think everyone who serves here must. As an expression of love and respect for the heart's of the kids we must return. Although they're hard conversations to have, I know that talking about the goodbye will make it an easier transition in the long run.

Needs

Today Anna and I met with Ginger and a couple of Ginger's missionary friends to discuss the Baraka Women's Centre. Ginger's friends work with small town farmer's in Northern Kenya. They offer these business men loans so they can get on their feet. They've had much success with the paying back of these loans, hence why we were eager to meet with them. One method that proved successful for them was this sort of....group loan. A group of closely-knit farmers would all take out a loan together. If one of them missed a payment they all suffered the consequences. This encouraged the farmer's to keep each other accountable. We need our women to have that...fire. That understanding.
The issue we have with Baraka women is that they have an understandably difficult time looking past their immediate needs. If we give them a loan for 2000ksh and they don't have any flour to feed their children, chances are they will take that money and use it for their family. And how can we expect them to do otherwise.
As my clients I have this empathy towards their situation but I also want to inspire them to...have a greater hope, to dream bigger. In order to do this we need to make sure that that are currently getting their basic needs met or else our loans will not be repaid. I believe our Baraka women can do this but not without a shared vision. And that's the hardest part.
Saving is hard for everyone. I don't just see it as an issue for women in Kenya from the slums. Hungry children take precedence over paying back loans in all settings. That's how life goes. Being able to contextualize this dilemma with the Baraka women helps me to relate to them on a more personal level.

Connecting Client's With Resources

The Baraka Women have begun to sell their items at the market. This is an extraordinary opportunity. Throughout their time in the program they've learned the skills to make a wide variety of products: stuffed animals, shirts, pants, quilts, bags, necklaces, bracelets. While they were learning all the skills necessary to complete those projects, I couldn't directly help. I don't know how to sew and therefore could not instruct a group of partial-english-speaking women on how to do so. Instead I've done behind the scenes work mainly focusing on the website. I am confident that my work on the Baraka Women's Centre website has been good and helpful to the empowerment of the women but since the opportunity has arisen for them to sell at the market, I have been able to have an even more direct impact.
To prepare the women for their time at the market I offered a compact and accessible in-service. I discussed objectives for selling at the market and Christian values that we wanted to make sure we'd emulate. Below is the list of tips that I presented to the women:

How We Sell At Our Best

1.     PRAY FIRST

2.     SMILE

3.     Talk to EVERYONE who walks by

4.     Sell above the cost to make (this is how we make profit)

5.     Start bargaining high

6.     Count and record cash at beginning of each shift

7.     Keep an excess of coins and small bills to make change

8.     Calculate all sales on calculator

9.     Guard your money

1. Be sure stand is guarded at all times

I didn't get much of a response from the women but that wasn't concerning. It was encouraging to be able to have something to offer. Even though I would not in any way identify as a market specialist, I do know how in-services go and how helpful they can be in times of preparation.